Day 31 - Surgeon Appt!

So today I had my next appt with my surgeon. I had to make the one hour trip yet again... i guess it could be worse. so just ignore my small complaints. After updating the nurse on how i was feeling etc. My surgeon came in. He said my stitches/incision sites look great and said that my bite still looks great too! he said i should be extremely happy with the results of my bite and jaw when everything is said and done :) Today he also gave me the "ok" to use a straw, blow my nose lightly, and swim in a pool! of course after i heard this the first thing i did was buy a smoothie and enjoyed it with a straw instead of spooning it out little by little. at first it was kinda hard to fit my lips around the straw and figure out how to suck in. but eventually i got it! kinda pathetic. but hey, ill just keep focusing on the baby steps.

In regards to my swelling, the nurse worded it really well. she said "by 6 weeks most people won't notice the swelling but you probably will, by 8 weeks you probably won't notice it either". hopefully this is somewhat accurate for me :) when my surgeon came in, he said my swelling will be way down  by the 2-3 month point. he said i will look different then. so it was reassuring to know that i am still swollen and not stuck with slightly puffy cheeks etc!

I was told that my numbness should continue to keep coming back slowly. and then was again warned that after a year, i am pretty much stuff with whatever i can feel at that point. i am just hoping so much that most of my nerves regenerate. so fingers crossed that things start tingling in the next couple weeks! i would be kinda upset if parts of my face ended up numb forever. but i guess i will deal with that when the time comes.

i still love my new profile. a lot.

so in an upcoming post ill definitely do some before/after pictures since my swelling looks pretty good in pictures. i am still convinced that it looks way worse in real life.. but you never know i suppose. im also just kinda too lazy to find some good pictures to put together...!

so hmm, i showed my surgeon the bands that my orthodontist told me to wear 2 days ago, and he said he was going to call my ortho and they may change my bands around yet again.. so i guess we will just have to see! my surgeon then said i don't have to be back to see him for 3 weeks just in time for my to maybe chew again AHHHHHHH. 3 weeks before i may be able to chew?? that would be amazing. so, we scheduled my appt for the tuesday july 30. until then... i will keep my fingers crossed that i will be able to chew before august. that would be amazing. can you tell i want to chew? haha....

anyway, until i have more to say
-Katie:)

Day 30 - One month

So a month ago today. I was in surgery. June 10th-July 10th. I am so happy to have made it this far:) since this is pretty much the same thing as 4 weeks.. I won't say too much. especially since things aren't really changing much anymore. which is a bit frustrating, but oh well. i guess this recovery is just a long process and i must keep my patience.

The most frustrating thing is still that im not allowed to chew...! and i really really really really want to...

I don't really have anything to write about today... so i guess ill just see if anything pops up tomorrow.

-Katie:)

Day 29 - First Ortho Appt and Conversations

So this morning I had my first appt with my orthodontist since surgery. It went really well overall! I walked over to check in and of course the receptionist asked me how i was doing. and then i got called back and all of the assistants kept saying hi and asking how i was, and saying how good i looked. so i guess getting jaw surgery makes me pretty popular at my ortho office!! haha.... but they were all so nice to me, and i just felt so great :)

okay.. on to the actual point of the appointment. haha. so my surgeon had to cut the top wire of my braces into 3 pieces during surgery.. so while my orthodontist normally just looks at the patient and switches bands their first appt back after surgery... lucky me had to get a new wire instead. (they didn't want my teeth to relapse back to how they were before braces and then have to backtrack... and yeah) i guess it wasn't too awful, but since my cheeks on the inside are still fairly swollen and stiff, it wasn't the most pleasant experience with fingers jabbing in the back of my mouth. Then, they said that my bite is looking great and were pleased with how wide i could open my mouth at this point after surgery. My orthodontist also reconfigured my bands. instead of the 3 tight ones in the front that i had placed by my surgeon, he is just having me wear 2 "boxes" on the sides. these are a lot looser and technically i don't even have to take them off to eat if i don't want to.. but they are MUCH harder to put on since it is so hard to get to the back of my teeth! (with my stiff lips and swollen inside cheeks). soo... we will just see how that goes the next few days. My surgeon said i need to wear them 18-20 hours every day and that i don't need to see him for 6 weeks. at which point he will put a new wire on my top teeth.

the band configuration is the same on the other side. sorry it is hard to see! very hard to move my lips to show it.........

hmm, the rest of my day was pretty normal... golfing, reading, and well i got my hair cut if that counts for anything? haha. barely got any off.. since i am terrified of cutting my hair short again. even if it does touch my belly button right now... haha

but... on to more relevant topics. hmm, so i actually know the lady that cuts my hair  really well. she even gave me my first hair cut. and about a year ago we got to talking and realized that we were both having jaw surgery. she has an underbite and is scheduled for surgery in december. so today she was asking all about my experience and how i was doing and such, cause she has started to get nervous for her surgery. it was actually really nice to talk to someone who is in a similar situation.

I also don't ever think i mentioned that 2 other girls in my grade had jaw surgery this summer too. We discovered this as we all were in the same study hall last year.... even weirder. we all have the same surgeon! and he even is an hour away. just so ironic. we all had our surgeries a week apart too. 3 consecutive mondays. so one of them had her surgery the week before mine. she only had upper jaw surgery while i had both... but it was so great to text her off and on before and after my surgery to know some things to expect especially since we had the same surgeon and would be at the same hospital etc. She also had a MUCH easier recovery than I did. but hey, it was a way for me to stay positive knowing that since she was able to get better so quickly, one day i would turn the corner and start healing. so yeah. just great to know other people going through this. both in person and through the blogging world :)

good luck to everyone going through recovery. it gets better. i promise!
-Katie:)

Day 28 - FOUR WEEKS. woo.

YAY. i made it! i really really made it. *happy dance* I honestly can't believe that my surgery was 4 weeks ago...  i know it sounds cliche, but it really does feel like i was in the hospital for surgery just yesterday. but in looking back over everything, i have actually come quite a ways. so yay. i'll try to just write a ton and try to update on different topics instead of my usual "write the random stuff on the top of my mind that probably doesn't make sense" sort of thing.

Numbness/Stiffness
So hmm. Seeing as i was too lazy to try to edit one of my pictures showing the numbness tonight.. ill just try to describe how everything is. so i apologize if none of this makes sense. let's see. okay.

80-90% feeling = my lower lip and chin, outer cheeks, gums on my lower teeth
0% feeling = on my nose, areas on either side of my nose, under my eyes, gums on upper teeth
5% feeling = upper lip, roof of my mouth

so i put my upper lip in the 5% category (even thought i can't exactly feel it) because it is tingling and almost vibrating like crazy. holy buckets. this is SOO annoying. and my nose and the other areas at 0. well they don't even tingle yet... they are just completely numb. well, i take that back. the areas underneath my eyes feel badly bruised. (taking off my eye makeup isn't the most fun).

I also get these weird feelings all around my face.. i have seen that other bloggers have had similar ones. for instance, my nose either feels like it is wet/runny (when it isn't..) or it feels crusty (when it isn't...). my lips also feel like they always have food or liquid on them. or they feel like they are chapped/cracked and sting sometimes too. fun stuff...! Also, if i go outside and it is extremely hot... my entire face feels like it is wet and/or has water dripping down it. not sure why.

another "funny" thing with numbness is that whenever i am eating in public.. i normally end up with food on my face that i don't notice. luckily i have friends that will tell me, and we all can laugh about it together! also, since a lot of my mouth has been numb, i feel like my perception of the temperature of foods and drinks is really weird. for instance, this morning i was eating a smoothie with a spoon, and all of a sudden i get the pain in my upper lip, i go to touch it, and it feels almost frozen. like my body is so numb it can't give me a warning until it either gets way too hot or too cold. i also feel like no matter how much i heat up a meal.. it always tastes like it is just lukewarm. even if it burns my finger to touch. so just thought id share :P

In regards to stiffness, it feels so incredibly awkward to smile.. but you know, im not going to complain too much, because at least the pain in smiling went away. i also feel like i can't easily make normal facial expressions if i am having a conversation with someone. but things are improving each day! soon i will not seem as non-expressive or rude.

Swelling
i think i finally look somewhat "normal" by now. i think that these pictures hide the swelling really well too. when i go out in public i feel like people wouldnt notice that i had jaw surgery recently or anything out of the normal.. but i think when i see people i know, they think i look either different or puffy. im not sure! i have gotten so many mixed views on the state of my swelling, that i don't know what to think. overall, this last week my swelling hasn't bothered me too much since it is minimal now. but i still want it ALL to go away!

i feel like my smile continues to get wider and more normal. yay.

Pain/Discomfort/Medicine
I feel like i have had more pain than most people by this stage in recovery... i am still taking motrin and tylenol during the day. and most nights i take 1 hydrocodone just to help me get to sleep. I am trying to get off medicine... but my whole face just aches whenever the medicine wears off. sigh. on the plus side, sometimes i do forget to take medicine if i am distracted :) like if i am doing anything with friends, i don't even notice that my jaw has started hurting normally until i get home.

I woke up this morning though with the area on the right side where my surgeon moved forward my jaw throbbing. and even tonight, it still hurts. i hope nothing has gone wrong... im a little worried. hopefully it goes away after a long sleep. my rubber bands hardly hurt anymore though!! yay! i can tell my jaw is getting stronger too. because, when i first got my bands, i could barely open my mouth enough to talk well. but now i can open my mouth even though i still feel resistance from the bands.

Food
First off, let me just say this. I WANT TO CHEW. so badly... I feel like so many people are given the "ok" to chew things by now.. even if they are limited in what they can chew. idk. just frustrating i suppose. another thing i found is that i haven't been allowed to use a straw during recovery yet. has anyone else been told this? so at restaurants i have spilled quite a bit of water on myself from sipping out of these huge cups. haha. ok. now i know i am not allowed to chew. but i can't just eat all liquids. so i just do what i can "tongue chewing" where i mash food up with my fork, and then kinda just let my mouth dissolve it enough with my tongue to swallow. once i figured out that i can swallow anything that is mashed by my fork.. my diet got a LOT better. i have broken MANY plastic forks along the way though... oops! I eat about 4 smaller meals every day and have definitely stopped losing weight. ended up losing 7 pounds (this was all just in the first week, after that it stopped going down). especially after discovering that i could eat cake :P

list of my food! (i am lactose intolerant, so have to avoid ice cream and milkshakes)

• smoothies
• i have been living on gatorade lately
• soups (tomato and chicken noodle (chicken and stars is great because the "stars" are small enough to swallow without chewing!))
• spaghetti
• cake/soft cookies/baked goods - good to mix with ice cream or frosting to help make softer
• eggs
• pancakes drenched in syrup
• mashed potatoes (gravy)
• hashbrowns
• stuffing - mixed with finely cut turkey
• sloppy joe without the bun
• yogurt
• applesauce
• jello or pudding
• baked beans
• black beans
• chili
• banana bread with a lot of butter microwaved to make mushy
• mashed raspberries and blackberries
• rice
• anything "noodle"

Energy
I feel like my energy is pretty normal as long as i don't do anything. I don't think I could work out though... i kinda get exhausted from doing a lot of physical things. i want to start working out again though!! i partially havent because things like jumping, or running, etc. kinda make my face ache.

Sleep
Time to complain again about my sleep....! i am now sleeping on my side, but i just hope it isn't irritating my face too much... I sleep on the really soft pillow and try to just put like the top of my head on it so that it doesn't hurt the side of my face. i am able to sleep much better now that i gave up on sleeping propped up! but by now my schedule is BAD seeing as i continue to be up til 3am. but i promise you it'll be back to normal... eventually...

Other
I am still brushing my teeth after every meal. and am still using my little baby toothbrushes! they are so darn cute and tiny and soft and wonderful. I don't think i have talked much about my stitches. My surgeon said that they would all dissolve eventually. sometimes they fall out and they look like clear fishing wire. but, i can see stitches under my top lip, and those are white and not clear at all, look more like floss actually. so do these fall out at some point? i can't imagine such a think string dissolving. but i guess we will find out..

Random Advice of the Day: don't go over speed bumps quickly the first couple weeks after surgery. that was not too much fun... haha

I have my first orthodontist appt tomorrow since surgery, and another appt with my surgeon on thursday. so ill talk about those after they happen.

take care everyone!! thanks :)
-Katie:)

Day 27

Nothing super new today.... hmm. I'm not the happiest person right now, but i really can't discern why. Maybe just a ton of little things getting to me. But oh well, I will continue to shove all of my issues to the back of my mind and ignore them. yay..

my jaw is still a little tender from the concert last night, but it'll go away eventually. i don't think i was used to talking that much! let alone singing or shouting. It really is exhausting moving my mouth so much. definitely a reality check that i am still recovering...

In regards to my progress i have made in getting my mouth to open wider, i feel like i am stuck at 11 tongue depressors. in the last week, i have only been able to add 1 :( it hurts to stretch my jaw out, but i guess slowly but surely i will be able to get to 35 mm at some point.. maybe just in the distant future :P

i just wanted to say that writing this blog has been SOOO nice for me. Life even if nobody read this, i'd be perfectly fine because it has been the perfect way to get out my thoughts and frustration throughout this all. (but i do absolutely love the support from all you guys :) ) i feel like my friends don't want to hear about me complain or discuss my surgery anymore, and i don't want to get repetitive or annoying about it. even though they have been so supportive and i couldnt have asked for anything better:) but so i quit talking about it with them so much... and i guess my family hears me complain about that main things every day. but it is just so nice to type out the small things. just cause if i write it down, i don't have to worry about it in my head anymore! (in theory)

tomorrow's post will hopefully have better information and updates since it is a fairly big milestone of 4 weeks. eep! take care all

-Katie:)

Day 26

Hellooo :)

Today was an absolute blast. I went with my friends to a concert here! So, right now I am the most exhausted i have been in a long time. I don't recommend yelling and singing and shouting at a concert 3 weeks after surgery... but it was so worth it :) even though i came home in the worst pain i have had in weeks. but i just took extra hydrocodone.. and hopefully everything goes back to normal in the morning.

so this evening, i had dinner at a restaurant before the concert with my friends, i ordered buttered noodles with a side of mashed potatoes. i didn't see the buttered noodles on the menu, but i figured they could easily make that since macaroni and cheese was an option! so my food came and it was delicious, even if it takes me forever to cut up the noodles and such. but i managed to look somewhat normal when i was eating, and didn't even spill! haha. then when i got the check, i was surprised to find that while everyone else was paying for a $20 meal... mine was considered a "kids noodle" and was charged $5. we all had a good laugh about that! i felt bad. i didnt mean to order a kids meal.. but oh well. #jawsurgeryprobs haha.....

i feel like my swelling is doing much better overall. i feel somewhat normal in public even! when i look in the mirror, all i see is "puff" but hey, eventually ill get used to my face.

nothing else new really to update... take care all.

-Katie:)

Day 25 - Laughing While Sad

Hello to anyone still reading :)

I just wanted to say a big thank you to all of the people who have made blogs. They helped me SO incredibly much going through my recovery. I'm also really glad I made my own blog... It was a great way to just get out my complaints. Also, looking back at some of my earlier posts, it makes me feel like i have actually come such a long way from when i was in the hospital. and i'm extremely grateful for that.

In other news... as of today it doesn't hurt to smile or laugh anymore!!!!! hello to watching comedy movies again. i am actually so thrilled. i realized as i was talking to my friend and we were laughing that my upper lip didn't hurt anymore when i was laughing. this might be the best moment ever. haha. on top of this, my upper lip is tingly (which is annoying) and i know i've posted about this before. but i can kinda tell when things are touching it now, or at least i can feel the pressure on my lip. whereas before.. i had absolutely no clue if anything was touching my top lip. so yay for progress! (even if it is ever so minor).

i am really happy with my new profile with my overbite and open bite gone! :)

my left nostril is now a ton smaller than my right one (the picture is flip-flopped, so you guys see it opposite)

I feel like in some of the other blogs I have read, others have experienced their nostrils changing.. I have noticed that the cartilage (im guessing) between my nostrils is now bent to the left. joy. i guess i can deal with it. just i havent been able to breathe out of the left side of my nose much at all since surgery... and when i can, it isn't very clear. hopefully i just have a lot of swelling in there still, and it will get better.

in other news... i ate mushy raspberries today! before surgery i lived on eating fruit. my favorite foods by far... so i am now going to explore mushy fruit and see what else i can eat!

Down in the Dumps

I also wanted to talk about how i have felt emotionally during this whole process.... the first few days in the hospital i realized would be that hard, i could handle it and was positive about my recovery still. but, the night i ended up in the emergency room after being discharged from the hospital, and then being readmitted back at my hospital the next day... gosh, i just kept wishing and hoping and praying over and over again that eventually things would get better. spending a total of about 8 days in the hospital was also hard. i mean most people only spend a couple, and then they are fine at home. but my excess swelling, nausea, and the fact that i was barely able to eat, made my stay long... i felt so isolated from the world. i missed my friends immensely. the whole situation just got depressing. then, i finally arrived home.. only to just alternate between my couch and my bed for several days.. i now truly understand the term "loneliness". sure i had lots of time in the hospital with my parents, grandparents, aunt, and my sisters... but once i was home, their lives got to return to semi-normal while i was stuck in bed. it was hard to me to accept that mine couldn't be normal yet... finally i got a visit from some of my closest friends. and that made me realize just how important the presence of other people can be. just wow. so i wholeheartedly stress the importance of being around people after surgery that are close to you. isolation is not fun! in the last week or so though, things just completely flipped. i have seen more of my friends, forced myself to leave the house, and seen a glimpse of normalcy again.

did i ever regret doing the surgery at any point? no. even though things were awful the first 2 weeks. i am still so happy i was able to get this surgery over with. I can't say that i am perfectly pleased with everything yet.. just because i am swollen. plus, the main reason i chose to have surgery was due to my extensive jaw pain and headaches every day. and seeing as i still have pain (although temporary) i can't judge if the surgery has completely fixed that. but im sure it will! i absolutely LOVE having all of my teeth touch. going from just my back molars touching.. to every single tooth, is one of the best feelings ever.

i guess that is everything on my mind tonight... take care you guys :) much love and many thanks.
-Katie:)

Day 24 - Happy Fourth!

Happy Fourth of July to anyone and everyone! (I really don't like this holiday very much... but hey, gotta mention it). After planning to sit in my room alone and read all night.. my friend and I realized that we should just be alone together. So I ended up having a pretty great night! so great, that i didn't even remember to take motrin or tylenol even when they were out of my system. yay for my pain starting to go WAY down!! My friend also hadnt seen me for a week maybe? and she said my swelling had gone down a lot! so that made me happy, because i can't really notice a change.. so yay.

My upper lip is tingly! maybe the whole numbness situation will change soon.... :) oh! today i also went with my family to the pool. since it was crowded, there is no way i was going to get in the pool! getting kicked in the face wouldn't be my idea of fun....... :( but it was all good! i sat and read, which is my favorite thing to do. one of our family friends even said that i didn't even look like i had surgery (saying that most people wouldn't notice my swelling) which isn't true! but still nice of her to say :) 

so seeing as most people were grilling out today.. it made me want a hamburger even more! i figured out tonight that if i take a hamburger and cut it up until it resembles ground beef and mix it with ketchup, i can choke it down. but it isn't the same :( still somewhat yummy though!

Sorry, maybe i'll find more to talk about in my next post.. until then, take care everyone!

-Katie:)

Day 23

Hmm, at this point in my recovery... nothing new really happens day by day... am I doing completely better? definitely not.... but I don't feel like things are getting better anymore. I just feel stuck at this halfway point of sometimes feeling great and sometimes feeling not so great.

I have noticed through my recovery that my skin has gotten much more oily than it was... has anyone else experienced this? in the last week my skin has started to break out more than usual... before surgery i could get away with never washing my face, but it is just so shiny and icky right now! So i hope it just goes back to normal...

swelling please completely disappear!! I'm sick of having "puffy" cheeks.

yesterday i had stuffing and mashed potatoes and shredded turkey for dinner!! yes, it was mushy, but so incredibly delicious :) So, since i still have almost 5 weeks left of "no chew" diet.... I am in need of new ideas for food.... i am so sick of my "normal" meals....i want to chew!

until tomorrow!

-Katie:)

Day 22

Hello anyone and everyone! Nothing new to report today... i'd say my biggest complaint is still my difficulties sleeping. my nose has been super stuffy the last couple days which makes sleeping not so fun. Starting tomorrow I am going to start waking up earlier in hope of my schedule going back to normal! maybe if i am tired enough, i won't fall asleep at 3am anymore... oops. 

In honor of being 22 days post-op, I have had taylor swift's song, 22, stuck in my head allll day. even if it is getting kinda irritating and it doesn't exactly apply too well, hey, gotta celebrate the days going by somehow! :P

in other (more relevant) news, my top lip is now being REALLY annoying and is tingling like crazy and im having shoots of pain through it... maybe this just means ill get to feel it soon? hopefully? 

I think my swelling is refusing to change at all at this point. I guess I am a little happy that it is fairly symmetrical. I mean my face isnt a huge balloon on one side, and is normal on the other. so nothing drastic must be good. I just want my swelling to completely disappear!!!

golfing!

anyone can always email me at kjhljhskh@gmail.com, otherwise to all of you with surgeries soon, best of luck, you guys are all in my thoughts and prayers.
-Katie:)

Day 21 - Three Weeks!!!!!

happy 3 weeks!!!! guys i made it :) kinda a big milestone! at this point i feel pretty darn good overall. I went to a movie with my friends tonight and played golf this afternoon. yay for normal things :) i wish i could be working out again... but... i don't think that'll happen for a while..

Pain
At this point, I am taking tylenol and motrin during the day, and then a little bit of my hydrocodone type medicine to help me sleep at night. The pain is slowly lessening day by day. I feel like a have a constant headache, but I can deal with that. Sometimes my jaw joint hurts from trying to stretch it out with the popsicle sticks, but not always! I am so thrilled that the pain is going away, yay :)

Energy
So, I feel like my energy is pretty much normal! Like hmm... if I had to go back to school I could. I don't really feel weak, but I do kinda feel tired due to my lack of sleeping. I kinda sorta sleep on my side now... it makes my face hurt more, but sleeping on my back is not my favorite. So basically i fall asleep propped up on my back, and I wake up sleeping sideways on my face which then hurts. woo. but oh well, it'll get better!

Numbness
Well, I don't really think much is changing! sadly... on the plus side, I can still feel my lower lip and chin. My nose and upper lip and area around my nose is still numb though. maybe in a couple days ill show you guys on a picture if im not too lazy!

Swelling
I guess the pictures show it all, but I still feel puffy. I think the numbness makes me feel more swollen! But hmm... hopefully it continues to go down. Maybe I'll put together my progress so far in another post to make me feel better!

Food
As of now, I have decided that i am pretty decent at swallowing foods without chewing them. My fork mashing skills are pretty darn great (even though i may have snapped several plastic forks) :P Spaghetti is delicious, as well as enchiladas (mashed with a fork), and cake.

these are my favorite!! and i can open my mouth just barely wide enough to eat them. (even though i can't eat the middle...... but still!) candy is like my favorite thing ever.. so the day i found out i could eat these, i was over the moon.

soon i will also do some before/after pictures, because my swelling doesnt look too bad in pictures! thoughts going out to you guys in recovery as well. thanks for going through this with me.
-Katie:)

Day 20 - Minor Changes and My Mirror

Sooo, not much changed today! i think i can finally say the my life is somewhat normal! yay! I went to buy some much needed clothes today (in public!). and also went and saw Monsters University with my family (such a cute movie!). So hmm, the pain is manageable with tylenol and motrin and I'm FINALLY used to my bands *happy dance*.

seeing as nothing is really different today... i wanted to just explain how much i have loved my mini mirror for helping me to eat without completely spilling food down my face. I brought a mirror to the hospital and i still use it to eat even now. because i look pathetic eating with my numb face. like an infant eating. so thank you mirror for helping me be less frustrated with eating!

how wide i can open my mouth!

i feel like this angle shows more of the swelling that is still in my cheeks.

ill write more tomorrow for my big 3 weeks. yay! thanks for anyone who keeps reading :p
-Katie:)

Day 19 - Normalcy and My Day of Surgery Story! (plus random things i forgot to mention from the early post-op days)

Hellooo all!

so today was my first day back at volunteering at the library. i volunteer with one of my good friends, so it is always a lot of fun. we mostly just re-shelve books and such. very relaxing. so i was glad to be back! especially to be driving my car and such, i like feeling more independent again. things are more normal! yay! there are even parts of my day where i forget that i have had jaw surgery. i mean, until i look in a mirror, but hey, baby steps!

i forgot to say that 3 days ago i sneezed for the first time. i am one of those people that starts sneezing like crazy when the sun gets in my eyes.... and i kept my mouth open like my surgeon said... and it was no bid deal! yay.

so today not much has changed other than just the jaw pain going away finally!! makes me much happier :) i just have an awful headache, but im used to those... so i though i would write down more specifics from my day of surgery, because i never did originally, and i dont want to forget it all. so i apologize if this is boring and/or random!

Surgery Rewind
The night before surgery I started to get anxious. I was so excited to get surgery over with after years of waiting... but the nerves were starting to get to me. So..... guess who barely got any sleep. I had to wake up bright and early at 3:45am because i had to check in at 5:30am for a 730 surgery and my surgeon is an hour away. I slept through my alarm (only getting 4 hours of sleep will cause that to happen!) and so my mom came in at 4 to make sure i was awake. i got ready and made sure i had everything packed and we rushed to the car so we wouldn't be late. I got to the hospital just in time to check in.

I was walked back to a room and was asked to changed into my hospital clothes for surgery. it was this huge almost paper gown that had all these holes covered with fabric for emergencies i suppose, in case they needed to get to my hear etc. i also got these cool socks and was asked to get in the bed in the room. my nurse was so nice :) i was so grateful for that seeing as internally i was beginning to freak out. they put these squeezy things around my calves that puffed up with air every so often to keep my blood flowing and prevent clots i believe. they were fairly annoying, but i just pretended it was a massage.

After my mom signed another multitude of forms and filled the nurse in on every medication i have been taking recently, i had to get my iv. now, i am one of those pathetic people who is completely terrified of needles. so my strategy is just to not look at what they are doing to me. and hold my mom's hand of course. the first time she tried to put the iv on top of my hand... but that was so painful and she realized that she had hit a valve. lucky me.... so we had to take that one out and try a new one. this one was put on the side of my wrist and was bearable. she then offered to get me a hot blanket. let me tell you... those things got me through my stay at the hospital. they are my absolute favorite! i mean who doesn't love those warm blankets? Then, this really nice guy came in... and ruined everything by saying he had to draw my blood. fun stuff right? but i was good, and luckily they didnt need to draw a ton this time. we also talked to the anesthesiologist. Then, my surgeon came in and took some final measurements because he realized after he constructed my molds and such after my preop appt, that my top jaw was slightly tilted either to the right or left, and he needed to make sure that his molds were correct (which they were). then he reassured us of everything, said he had one surgery before me, and left.

After more preparation to get me "ready" for surgery, my nurse said that my surgeon was running behind because he was still in surgery (that i either don't think he was expecting, or he was just running behind). so now it was 7:30 (my supposed surgery start time)... and still nothing. luckily we had a tv in our room! my mom and i chatted and enjoyed the Today show. i also was texting several friends kinda freaking out. about every half hour the nurse that was going to be with me during surgery checked in on us and just kept telling us that my surgeon was still in surgery... Finally, around 9-10 am the nurse returned and said we were ready! i was fairly annoyed that we had to wait so long. but when she announced i was ready to go and started wheeling me out of the room, surgery finally felt real. and i was kinda terrified. i held my mom's hand until i got to the doors and then had one last hug. we both had tears in our eyes.

then i got wheeled back and saw all of these smiling nurses on my way to my OR. i got a cap to put over my hair and then we stopped outside of the huge doors to where i would be having my surgery. my nurse said that the rooms would be cold, and sure enough it was. I just pretended I was on Grey's Anatomy. Because that is one of the best shows ever. they moved me onto the table that i would have my surgery on and strapped me on and put blankets on me. After that, the anesthesiologist said she was giving me something to relax me. That was the last thing I remember.

I remember waking up in the recovery/icu area. the nurses kept asking me to rate my pain from 1-10. i think i said 7 or 8. i really wanted them to give me medicine so i could feel better. my nurse was really nice and attentive. i kept asking where my mom was... and she kept saying that i could go see her when my pain was under control. this made me sad. but finally the time came and my nurse said she was going to take me to my room :) she wheeled me to the elevators and eventually to my room where my parents, grandparents, and sisters were waiting. they moved me to my new bed and the first thing i asked my mom was for the time. since i was banded shut... nobody could really understand me. which was frustrating. i believe it was 2-3 in the afternoon. she said my surgery lasted around 4 hours. my sisters put this huge puppy stuffed animal on my bed and then left with my grandparents. i then remembered that i had packed my mini whiteboard. that thing was my best friend for the first week. I had beautiful flowers and balloons all over my room from different family members and even my orthodontist sent some beautiful flowers too! I felt so blessed for all the support from my family and friends.

my puppy and whiteboard!

I remember just being so amazed that all of my teeth touched! and i remember hating whenever the nurses gave me morphine, because it made me throw up. and let me tell you, that is not fun when you are completely banded shut. the catheter and tube up my nose were out by the time i woke up luckily. but the breathing tube really made my throat hurt. the medicine the nurses had to put in my iv hurt so badly. i was on a steroid to help with swelling and such but it stung SOO much when they put it in my iv. luckily i had really nice nurses that diluted everything with saline and brought me hot blankets to wrap my arm in. i never mentioned my 2ND favorite thing in the hospital was this little "sucky thingy" (as i called it) that i could suck all of my spit out with. did you guys all have drooling problems? i always put a ton of gauze under my chin but i always remember waking up in the middle of the night with my jaw bra and gauze and cheeks and neck completely wet. it was nasty. but the sucky thingy helped keep my mouth dry luckily. i also never mentioned that my surgeon finally let me use afrin for 2 days to help me breathe through my nose. he said i was only allowed to use it for 2 days, but i was SO glad i could at all! it completely cleared my nose. plus, one of my nurses was able to help clean out my nose with a q-tip. i LOVED my nurses. i had such amazing care at my hospital. it was unbelievable.

another thing i haven't talked about it the stiffness and pain i had in my neck and back after surgery. i never figured out what really caused it. maybe just laying down during surgery for 4 hours? im not sure. but i had the nurses bring me hot blankets. and i wrapped them around my shoulders kinda like a shawl to help me sleep. it was so nice. but the neck and upper back and shoulder pain and stiffness didn't go away until probably day 10. it was very uncomfortable.

one of my night nurses was so nice to me. She tucked me in with warm blankets and sat and talked to my mom and I, giving reassuring words. I almost cried when she left and said she wasn't scheduled to work again for a while. I spent a lot of my time watching HGTV on my hospital tv. (they didnt have many channels). so i watched tons of home design shows and house hunters! fun times.. fun times.. i also brought my knitting to the hospital and did that when my iv didn't hurt too badly.

one morning around 5am in the hospital... i believe it was day 4 post op. the lady in the room next to mine was yelling and saying lots of cuss words. for probably an hour straight. i felt so bad for her. but i was so irritated that it woke me up. i hated hearing her in pain... but she didn't need to yell the f word and many others for an hour straight. it was not the best moment.

i recommend going on lots of walks in the hospital. those were the best parts of my day. they made me feel so happy and energized and yeah. just take walks! all of the nurses on my floor knew me as the "fast walker" every time i can around the loop the nurses were shocked that i was walking so quickly that soon after surgery and such. my aunt also flew in and surprised me at the hospital and stayed for a few days. it was so amazing to see her and get to talk to her in the hospital. i love my family.

oh goodness i feel like i just wrote a book! sorry if you are reading this... that got long!! i apologize! i just had to get all these memories down before i forgot them. 

so a big THANK YOU to anyone that has been reading. until tomorrow.

-Katie:)

Day 18 - Surgeon Visit

Hello! so today we made the hour drive to go see my surgeon for another post-op appt. it went really well! my surgeon said i was still doing a great job of keeping my mouth super clean and all of the incisions looked good. i won't go back to see him for another 2 weeks. which i guess means i am doing well!

i feel like the swelling is continuing to go down, just not at a fast rate anymore... hopefully it just continues to go away! i am ready to stop feeling and looking like a chipmunk. i know a lot of people have talked about stiffness, and i do feel really awkward smiling and talking etc because my top lip refuses to move without a ton of effort! it is the most numb. but i can feel my chin now! so my chin and my bottom lip have almost all feeling back. yay. everything else is still numb though. so my nose.. cheeks... roof of my mouth... under my eyes... upper lip... etc.

My surgeon also said that now that the pain is subsiding, i need to work on opening my mouth wider. he handed me a handful of tongue depressors and said i need to get to 35 mm. right now i am about 20 mm, he said to stack the tongue depressors and then hold them with a rubber band and put them in my mouth to hold it at the widest it can open. then, every 3 days, i need to add one more tongue depressor to slowly get my mouth to open wider. hopefully this isnt too painful!

my assortment of tongue depressors and how wide i can open, sorry the shadows got kinda dark!

let's see, my surgeon also told me to continue weaning off the hydrocodone. i can successfully make it through the day with just motrin and tylenol. so yay for that. i just take hydrocodone at night still so i can actually fall asleep. i fell asleep at 1:30 am last night... i guess that is better than 4. maybe. so hopefully tonight i can fall asleep even earlier! he said i dont need to sleep as propped up as i was before, but i just need to make sure that my head is above my heart. he said my swelling will continue to go away, so i just need to make sure i can sleep.

i want to chew. SO BADLY. on the plus side... i am really good at choking down bigger pieces of food now. i managed to eat an enchilada that my mom made last night! also, i can swallow rice whole. and i am loving stuffing right now. i am really sick of all the food i have been eating though.... anything you guys loved during your "no chew" phase??

i feel more comfortable going out in public now. even if i know i look puffy, i am to the point where i just don't care. it beats sitting at home bored! i even felt okay with eating in public a couple days ago when i went out to lunch. i just want normal! in the next few days i will start golfing again as i have missed a lot of my summer tournaments for golf... i need to get back to practicing so i can be ready for my season in the fall. plus, i miss all of my golf friends!

i know i complain a ton on most of my posts, but i did want to say that i really am glad i did the surgery. i would make the same choice to do it even knowing truly how hard it has been. i absolutely trust and love my surgeon. he has been so amazing and i have been really happy with everything. i just hope i can say that my surgery helped get rid of the jaw pain and headaches i was having. that is all i ask. i never really chose to do this to change my appearance. i honestly didn't even know how is changed people's faces until i started reading other blogs (after i agreed to surgery). im just so elated all of my teeth finally touch!!

thank you so incredibly much to those of you reading :) take care. thoughts and prayers to anyone in recovery as well.
-Katie:)