Day 440 - Changes

So, I realized I needed to post before things got super busy. I am officially moved into college and am loving it here. Classes start Monday so I'm about to be very busy!

I ended up getting my MRI and CT scan done. They showed arthritic changes in the joints and that both of my discs in the joint are likely out of place and enlarged from the stress etc. I saw a more specialized joint doctor. He suggested me as a possible candidate for a joint surgery to put my discs back in place. I don't want any surgery at this moment, so I decided not to have it now. But the surgeon was very helpful in explaining more about my jaw to us which was great. He suggested me to apply heat to my jaw joints and slowly open and close my jaw as well as to continue eating soft foods.

The pain has been more manageable in the last few weeks though which is great. I will just hope that the stress of being at a university doesn't make things worse. I'm trying for positive thoughts though! 

Take care all!

- Katie :)

Day 401 - Trying to fix the pictures..! and updates..

So I just checked my blog only to find that all of the pictures i had up are missing... uh oh. I am going to try my best to fix things! I am very upset about this :(
(update: I am replacing all of the missing pictures manually. yes this is taking a ton of time. but i can't just leave it... definitely not fun)

But anyway.. I had an appt with my jaw surgeon a week-ish ago. Because of my joint pain, he believes I should get an MRI to see if my disks are in the correct places. Also, since my condyle is degenerative, I am getting another CT scan to see if it has changed in the last 2 years. I should be getting those tests done in the next couple of weeks.. so I'll post an update after I hear what my surgeon has to say about them. Although I am sad about how much pain I have right now, hopefully these tests can give us more information and hopefully move to try to fix my issues. I have been really down lately about my jaw. The combined joint and muscle pain has forced me to eat soft foods (and even chewing soft food hurts..) But I'm doing my best to stay chipper and distracted. All is well on other accounts in my life. I'm just busy preparing for my first year of college. Hope all is well out there!

- Katie:)

Day 327 - Updates (Another Before/After too)

So, I'm sorry for the lack of posts recently. I've honestly just been putting off a post because things have been hard lately and I've been hoping they get better so I could write a happier post. But they haven't.

My jaw pain has gotten worse again. There isn't a day where I don't have a throbbing headache or an aching joint. I have tried to wear a special retainer that helps put my jaw in a relaxed place at night. This has helped substantially, but it has also revealed that I still have an open bite, which is really hard to accept. My teeth mostly touch in the back again which just makes me want to cry. My jaw doctor says he will help by placing composite on certain teeth to fill in my bite. But my front teeth don't touch in any way :( I don't think anyone would notice by looking at me, but it is just really hard to accept that I went through all of this and still have pain and my bite is far from normal. I think I can learn to accept my open bite, but all of this pain I'm having is worse than it was before surgery. I've just been really down about it the last few months. I wish all 3 of my doctors would have communicated better. Sigh.

These pictures were taken about a month ago. Since then my bite has opened up a bit more. I don't really want to show a picture emphasizing that because it just makes me sad.

Anyway, things aren't too horrible overall. I promise! Just not the best. I have faith it'll get better. Just hoping the pain is fixable, that's all. Take care all :) Thoughts are with any of you in recovery.

-Katie:)

Day 240 - Disappointment.

So today I had my appointment to get my braces off, but my orthodontist decided that my bite had reopened a bit in the front and that he wouldn't take them off today :( needless to say I began crying in his office. embarrassing right? but i couldn't help it. I've had these things on for 3 years and I just want to keep moving forward in my treatment. I have had so much pain lately in my jaw and so I just wanted my braces off so I can begin treatment to stabilize the pain.

I guess I just got so excited for today to finally get them off and just was devastated that it didn't happen :( I head back to my orthodontist in a week and they'll check on how my mouth is and we'll go from there.

After I got the devastating news they adjusted my braces. I only have a wire on my top 4 front teeth and my bottom 4 front teeth. then i wear my finishing elastics as i showed in a previous post that lace my whole mouth together to try to close the front of my bite. then they took a panoramic X-ray of my mouth and he said he is going to look at my bones and see if more degeneration occurred and yeah.

those were taken before i got the bad news…..

on the plus side we had a snow day today and so i didn't have to go to school… more time to myself to be sad? :(

at least the snow is pretty!

sigh. I just want it to end :( I guess i'll update when i know more…. until then I'm going to go sulk about my braces still being on. next time i won't get my hopes up. disappointment sucks. take care all

-Katie :(

Day 183 - SIX MONTHS:)

June 10th - December 10th.

I made it to 6 months post-op. Wow. Who would have thought I could have made it this far :) So i was gonna write a super long post… but it is late.. and i had a full day of homework and college applications. so to say i am exhausted is an understatement. anyway, ill still mention a few things! basically though things are the same from my last post.

I do have some updates though because i had an orthodontist appointment today! and it was exciting because it was to get my "finishing bands" (which is code word for a big pain in the butt) basically i have one huge rubber band for each side and i have to zig zag it up and down across every tooth. this basically makes me unable to open my mouth at all. reminds me of days after surgery…! and i didn't miss it at all… luckily i only have to sleep in the bands.

what is really odd to me is that my orthodontist cut my wires and only kept them across my front teeth. maybe that helps the tiny movements of my back teeth allow for a better bite? I'm not sure. i see the point of the rubber bands to move teeth to fit a comfortable bite. i just better make sure i wear them every night! because during the day my back teeth don't have any wires or bands on them. weird right?!

today i had to see my incision sites in my lower back of my mouth as i have to start the bands on my last molar. it was bigger than i expected and kinda scary to see. but it made surgery seem like such a real and lifelong thing i guess. idk, it was good and bad to notice!

but anyway, i go back to the orthodontist in 4 weeks for them to see what everything looks like. and then hopefully by february i get my braces off!! woo :)

my last post had so much info… and i feel like I'm only repeating myself… but hmm. things are good! ill keep you guys updated with how i end things with my braces :) hopefully we get to part sooner than later.

here are a few random pictures i guess?

definitely feel like swelling is gone. yay :)

when they had my wire out at the orthodontist and i was pretending like i didn't have braces… if only it were real. haha.

before bands.

after…

soooo many bands……………..! but you can
 see how there isn't a wire on any of my back teeth.

hope all is well with those of you on this journey too :) off to sleep for me..! if ya need anything, just holler :)

-Katie:)

Day 173. Holy Buckets.

GUYS! hi :) :)

i apologize for not posting anything recently, but hey that must be a good thing! i have been thinking about my jaw surgery less and less as the days go by. luckily. overall i have been feeling great! i did have 2 sinus infections within a month, and let me tell you…. those made the plates and the area behind my cheeks hurt a TON from the infected sinuses. I also experience tiny flare ups of swelling on those days. so i hope you guys don't get sinus infections in the first few months after surgery!

I am slowly but surely approaching the 6-month mark, which is december 10th. and wow does it feel great to be so far from surgery :) life is pretty much normal!

OH. guess what I ate yesterday for the first time since surgery???

raw carrots. the ultimate hard food. hahahah, and it didn't even really hurt :) yay!

the most negative thing that i experience after surgery remains my jaw clicking. I didn't experience and clicking prior to surgery. but afterwards… my left side clicks with almost every chew. i have discovered that if i chew a certain way sometimes it subsides though, so there is hope!

I also still grind my teeth excessively at night… and since i have braces still, i don't have a special retainer/guard to protect my teeth at night. so maybe, once my braces are off and i get my retainer and my mouth guard, that will take care of the issues from grinding my teeth. I feel like the grinding contributes to my jaw clicking as well as the headaches and other jaw aches that i experience when i wake up.

just as before surgery, some days are better than others. I'm not completely pain free. definitely still get headaches occasionally, and my jaw still just aches, but I'm just staying hopeful that it'll get better some day :) if I'm not hopeful… then ill just be too sad.

i still have complete numbness in the upper gums of my mouth. everything else i can at least feel if i touch. i have these weird sensations around my lips, like if i pinch the skin on the left side of my chin, i feel it in my upper left teeth. don't know why… but i do. and it is annoying. similarly, if i poke or mess with the left side of my nose, i feel it in my front left upper tooth. sooo weird. maybe it was just that the nerves healed a bit off? idk. i guess i can live with it… just an extremely odd feeling.

overall though, things are awesome :) even with the things that annoy me… i would have surgery over again. i would make the same choice. nothing will ever take away from the fact that my teeth actually TOUCH. (this is a completely magical feeling that i didn't really experience before surgery).

hmm let's see… oh, as for how i feel about my appearance, some days i feel like my face is too round or puffy, but i just love my profile, and so it is all good. the other day i was buying some new clothes, and i was in a dressing room that had a bunch of mirrors, and out of the corner of my eye i saw that the side mirror showed my profile. and it shocked me how different i looked from before. it was a great realization :)

OH! I saw my dentist and jaw doctor for the first time since surgery 2 weeks ago. He was shocked at how great my surgery turned out. He even brought out the old model he had of my teeth and our mouths just dropped at how bad it was before i had braces and surgery. oh how my teeth have changed in the last 4 years! AND somehow i made it through recovery with ZERO cavities! i definitely way not expecting that. so Go Me i guess! haha.

I am still on track to get my braces off at the end of january… which seems soooooo sooooo far away…. but i guess i trust that my orthodontist will use this time to get my teeth perfect. and i guess having pretty awesome teeth will be 100% worth the wait.

for anyone still in the earlier stages of this process… i assure you, it. is. worth. it.! hang in there :) we have been in similar situations, but it all works out :) worrying doesn't do much good. but i also assure you that i worried too….. i am a huge worrier… but it all worked out. but boy am i glad that i am through the hard part… i almost get to celebrate being done! until that point though, ill just try to forget that I've had braces on for almost 3 years, i guess. ahha

and i guess i can't leave this post without adding a few random photos!

i hope everything is going well with all of you guys. i am so incredibly grateful for the blogging community for helping through this whole ordeal. so a big thank you :) please talk to me if anything is needed. anyway, until next time!

-Katie:)

Day 69 - Subtle Changes (before/after)

So, I hope you guys are alright! 

my biggest complaints by now are the sensitivity, numbness, and clicking of my jaw joint.

you know the sensitivity that you feel if you bite into a popsicle? or just when anything too cold touches your teeth? well, that is what it feels like when i brush my teeth with my sonicare toothbrush OR chew hard things. which is extremely annoying. I'm not sure if it is because the numbness on my upper gums may be returning? or? have any of you guys had a lot of sensitivity post-op?

when i chew soft things it is fine, but say i try to chew a cracker, it just sparks uncomfortable sensations in my upper gums and teeth, and some on the lower too. not to mention it feels like it is too much on my jaw, so i am sticking to softer foods. peanut butter and jelly is my "go-to" lunch! but i am probably being too adventurous too fast with food. definitely have chewed hard crackers, pickles, and hard meats. it is challenging and makes my jaw ache... but the food is SO yummy. ill never take food for granted again after this surgery... that is for sure. i also wanted to briefly mention the annoying clicking/popping of my left jaw joint again.. it hasn't gone away :( sometimes it isn't there, but other times it is... and i am just worried itll be there forever :(

overall though everything is great, swelling is mostly gone (on some days i notice that it gets a little worse again, but oh well). today i had some pain in my face, but some days i have none. it is all just up and down by this point in recovery.

hope all is well with you guys :) 

-Katie:)

Day 63 - NINE WEEKS. i did it. :)

Guys, i made it to 9 weeks. and things are pretty darn great :) i am doing really wonderful overall and could even describe things as "normal". if you asked me 1-2 weeks out if i thought that was possible i would have said never. but here we are!

So tomorrow i go back to school, hence i won't be writing in this as much. I successfully wrote in this blog every day for the first 9 weeks, and i'd say this is a good time to make it updated less often. which is a good thing! that means i must be doing well :)

swelling- i feel like by the end of the day my swelling worsens a tiny bit from all the talking and chewing that i do. but overall i think it is mostly gone.. still some though. i saw one of my friend's mom the first time since surgery and she commented that she thought i was swollen, but my friend thought it was mostly gone, probably since she has seen me several times since surgery when my swelling is much worse. i guess it all has to do with perspective. but i look very normal, so i am okay with it right now, not too frustrated anymore :)

energy-normal! woo. the only this is that im way out of shape now, i feel pathetic. haha, i mean not that i was "in shape" beforehand... but i even felt kinda tired from walking in golf. oops! normally i work out in the summer.. but it just wasn't gonna happen this year. but oh well.

chewing- i know i have talked quite a bit about this in the last few posts seeing as this is the main thing going on right now in my recovery! i still LOVE food immensely, and things are getting easier and easier to eat, which i am so grateful for. the clicking is still there but not always so we will see how that turns out... so before surgery i almost always had a piece of gum in my mouth, it just felt better to be chewing gum than to have my mouth awkwardly half-closed. and i LOVE chewing gum. but obviously that still isn't an option :( so in preparation for school, i went and bought several containers of tic-tacs, those will have to suffice until gum is an option!

numbness- okay, so this is getting harder and harder to describe... so bear with me. ill place my numbness into categories. the only parts that are completely numb are my upper gums, and the incision areas. everything else i don't count as completely numb because i can tell when i am touching it.

stiffness- this has been kinda annoying throughout recovery and one of my biggest complaints the last few weeks. i mean i can smile fairly easily and talk and make normal facial expressions, but my face just feels stiff and weird! probably partly from the partial numbness still. i assume this will get better

normalcy?- i now quite often will forget that i had jaw surgery during the day until i either have a random ache, or i get hungry and realize that there are only so many things that i can eat. but hey, not a bad thing at all :) it is really nice for surgery to not be consuming my life anymore. it is weird when people ask me how my summer was and i have to make that split decision as to whether i tell them i had jaw surgery etc. i am getting better at explaining it, but it still takes a big of time and idk! i haven't decided who all needs to know about it.

pain- any "pain" is pretty much gone, i have some aches for some parts of the day, but nothing horrible, just kinda uncomfortable. but the times where i feel great is when the pain and discomfort is gone and i forget about surgery.

sensitivity- it still kinda hurts to brush with my sonicare, so i have just been using my regular and/or baby toothbrushes still.

nose- i have had really really bad allergies lately from golf and so i end up sneezing a ton. not good by any means, but not the end of the world. sometimes blowing my nose hurts really bad so i have been trying to be careful with that.

bite opening- i am still working on opening my mouth wider, a hard process that leaves my jaw achy sometimes, but im slowly improving! almost to 30mm need at least 35.

pictures!

hope all is well with you guys. thank you to anyone who has read my blog or commented, the support has really helped more than anyone can imagine. i hope that this helps someone, but if not, it has been amazing to put all of my thoughts into one place during recovery. on those days where it seems like it wont get better, i can always look back and see how far ive come. which is so great :) take care, until next time.
-Katie:)

Day 59 - well... at least i can chew again!!

YAY. I can chew. long story short.. ahha. but ill back up to my appt.

my surgeon checked to make sure my plates and jaw position wasn't unstable or moving. and said it was all stable and healed super well, so yay for that :) makes me feel better about putting pressure on my jaws by chewing. he then tested me opening and closing my mouth and didn't notice any clicking in my jaw.. so said i should resume eating. he said the clicking isn't anything major as long as it isn't hindering how far i can open my mouth... and with that... he said i need to keep at opening my jaw wider, i am now at 27 mm and need to be at least 35 mm wide. so i am continuing with my exercises with my tongue depressors! haha... he said by my next appt in 2 weeks i need to be at 30 mm. so i better get at it.. i want to be able to open wider too. especially with singing..! show choir started up this week! and im so happy for that, absolutely love show choir... singing and dancing on stage is just too much fun. and we get to sing parts of Phantom.. who doesnt love that theme?! woo :)

hmm... other things, i got back to school on tuesday. so i am going to stop doing daily posts starting monday (at 9 weeks post op). because ill be too busy to post... and also I've started to have less and less to say... which must be a good thing!! :) but trust me, ill still keep this updated, itll be weird not to write in this before i go to bed every night....

also, my birthday is a week from today! so yay for that.

in chewing news... i tried chewing on my way home from the appt (grabbed a cookie from the downstairs cafe at the hospital which was delicious btw) and the clicking was minimal, so hopefully that goes away eventually :( super annoying....

as far as pain goes at this point, some days i feel absolutely no pain. just some discomfort still, but other days, like today, i have some areas that ache. yesterday the left side of my lower jaw ached while today the right side does. it isn't bad enough for me to feel like i need medicine (trying to stay away from all of that, even motrin and tylenol). if it ever gets bad enough ill take medicine, but luckily i can easily manage without it!

until tomorrow,
-Katie:)

Day 58 - Another Before/After

Well guys... nothing new to report today. just here. NOT chewing. just what i wanted :\

But anyway... I had another college visit today that went well :) need to get my stupid essays done for all of these applications... ahh.... major stressing about to happen. but ill just shove that to the back of my mind and pretend that it doesn't exist. as i do with all of my problems. including the fact that my jaw clicks and im not allowed to chew and i need to have a visit with my surgeon tomorrow instead of in about 3 weeks. but la la la la... im ignoring anything negative tonight. i will be in bed reading a book for fun (instead of my summer book for school..oops) haha.

the before was taken on my drive to the hospital the morning of surgery. thought the angles were similar enough to compare. yay for my new profile:) weird how it changed my nose, not bad, just different.

hey, quick random question/comment. so i feel like my face (all throughout recovery) has always swelled up more from the heat. so today for example, on my college tour, it was fairly warm outside and my face just begins to feel wet (weird numbness sensations) and just feels like a puff-ball. i don't know if it makes a huge difference physically to other people, but it sure feels noticeable and uncomfortable to me. anyone else experience this at all...?

fingers crossed for a good appointment tomorrow, hope all is well with you guys :)
-Katie:)

Day 57 - :( One step forward, two steps back (not allowed to chew again)

So... I mentioned in my last post how the left side of my jaw was clicking when i ate... so we called my surgeon's office to let them know. They just called back... and said that they don't want me chewing anymore and that my surgeon wants to see me in a couple days. sigh. just when things were getting better.... I don't think i have anything else to say... :(

at least i could barely notice any swelling today. that is a first for me.

as always, take care.

-Katie:)