Day 440 - Changes

So, I realized I needed to post before things got super busy. I am officially moved into college and am loving it here. Classes start Monday so I'm about to be very busy!

I ended up getting my MRI and CT scan done. They showed arthritic changes in the joints and that both of my discs in the joint are likely out of place and enlarged from the stress etc. I saw a more specialized joint doctor. He suggested me as a possible candidate for a joint surgery to put my discs back in place. I don't want any surgery at this moment, so I decided not to have it now. But the surgeon was very helpful in explaining more about my jaw to us which was great. He suggested me to apply heat to my jaw joints and slowly open and close my jaw as well as to continue eating soft foods.

The pain has been more manageable in the last few weeks though which is great. I will just hope that the stress of being at a university doesn't make things worse. I'm trying for positive thoughts though! 

Take care all!

- Katie :)

Day 401 - Trying to fix the pictures..! and updates..

So I just checked my blog only to find that all of the pictures i had up are missing... uh oh. I am going to try my best to fix things! I am very upset about this :(
(update: I am replacing all of the missing pictures manually. yes this is taking a ton of time. but i can't just leave it... definitely not fun)

But anyway.. I had an appt with my jaw surgeon a week-ish ago. Because of my joint pain, he believes I should get an MRI to see if my disks are in the correct places. Also, since my condyle is degenerative, I am getting another CT scan to see if it has changed in the last 2 years. I should be getting those tests done in the next couple of weeks.. so I'll post an update after I hear what my surgeon has to say about them. Although I am sad about how much pain I have right now, hopefully these tests can give us more information and hopefully move to try to fix my issues. I have been really down lately about my jaw. The combined joint and muscle pain has forced me to eat soft foods (and even chewing soft food hurts..) But I'm doing my best to stay chipper and distracted. All is well on other accounts in my life. I'm just busy preparing for my first year of college. Hope all is well out there!

- Katie:)

Day 327 - Updates (Another Before/After too)

So, I'm sorry for the lack of posts recently. I've honestly just been putting off a post because things have been hard lately and I've been hoping they get better so I could write a happier post. But they haven't.

My jaw pain has gotten worse again. There isn't a day where I don't have a throbbing headache or an aching joint. I have tried to wear a special retainer that helps put my jaw in a relaxed place at night. This has helped substantially, but it has also revealed that I still have an open bite, which is really hard to accept. My teeth mostly touch in the back again which just makes me want to cry. My jaw doctor says he will help by placing composite on certain teeth to fill in my bite. But my front teeth don't touch in any way :( I don't think anyone would notice by looking at me, but it is just really hard to accept that I went through all of this and still have pain and my bite is far from normal. I think I can learn to accept my open bite, but all of this pain I'm having is worse than it was before surgery. I've just been really down about it the last few months. I wish all 3 of my doctors would have communicated better. Sigh.

These pictures were taken about a month ago. Since then my bite has opened up a bit more. I don't really want to show a picture emphasizing that because it just makes me sad.

Anyway, things aren't too horrible overall. I promise! Just not the best. I have faith it'll get better. Just hoping the pain is fixable, that's all. Take care all :) Thoughts are with any of you in recovery.

-Katie:)

Day 84 - TWELVE WEEKS (pictures upon pictures)

So since im not feeling a ton better yet (with my head cold symptoms), I am pretty positive that i have a sinus infection. whoopee :\ but oh well. ill head to the doctor sometime next week and hopefully get some medicine. just wanted to do some sort of update since i have free time tonight! i've been crazy busy with school and golf and show choir recently, missing school for tournaments and everything else just makes my life insanely busy! but oh well, i love everything, so i deal with only getting 5-6 hours of sleep and such. but it does make me appreciate my weekends :)

love not having my over bite!!!! :):):)

here are some candids from this weekend. wow! i don't have to worry about my profile anymore, woohoo :)

as far as jaw related things go, everything is pretty good. I am now chewing more and more. this monday is my 12 week mark which is when my surgeon said i can try to eat a steak.. yay! it still feels quite weird to chew though... so im hoping it just starts to feel more and more normal as the weeks go on. my biggest complaint right now is my sensitivity. i can't even use my sonicare toothbrush because it hurts so badly :( the sensitivity still feels like when you have a cold popsicle and it touches some teeth that are super sensitive to it and you experience almost some sort of pain. im not even sure how to describe it. but it is annoying and such. i also feel it when i eat hard food. so most times i just try to eat the softest food as possible...

BUT last night i tried to eat some steak because my family was having it and i was just starved. i cut it up into super duper tiny pieces and tried my best to chew. I could kinda mush it but it gave me a headache to fully bite down on the steak. so i just went and mixed it with baked beans and swallowed it whole. I give up on chewing things like that super easily.... just easier to cut it up extremely tiny and swallow whole.

but let's see... what else to update. oh i guess i could talk about numbness. the only things still completely numb are my upper gums. everything else i can at least tell that im touching it.
NUMBNESS:

90% feeling

• chin
• bottom lip
• bottom gums

60% feeling (i can feel it completely but there is tingling too)

• nose
• edge of cheeks (more towards my ears)
• left cheek inside of mouth

30% feeling (i can tell something is touching it.... but cant exactly "feel" it, and tons of tingling)

• upper lip
• roof of mouth
• inside left cheek (keep biting it accidentally when i eat..)
• the area of my cheeks right next to my nose (where the screws and plates on my upper jaw are)

0% feeling

• upper gums (i can't even tell when i am brushing them...)

still have sensitivity in my mouth, but i think it may be SLOWLY improving yay! but i still cant use my sonicare toothbrush... which sucks. it is really hard for me to get the "clean mouth" feeling. but oh well.

here is my bite. have an ortho appt wednesday and im FINALLY going to ask how much longer i have my braces on for!! hopefully i get them off soon....... *crosses fingers*

hmm, i think my swelling is almost completely gone! some days i wake up and look a tiny bit puffier than others... but i think im the only one that can notice it.

bored before school one morning about a week ago...

also, i still have my left jaw joint popping sometimes, but only after long periods of me not doing anything with my jaw and then i go to eat something hard. so maybe it is just getting used to everything again? hope so :( don't want to be stuck with that forever. at least i don't have pain when it pops though.

after days where i chew a lot, my jaw does ache. there are a couple different types of pain i still experience... one being just tiredness in the joints and just overall from over-chewing or talking. but then sometimes i have pain in my lower jaw where the plates are or my upper jaw where the plates are still. which probably shouldn't be happening but i don't know what to do about it.

my lips are less stiff!!! i still can't do "fish" lips... but i can at least make a "kissy-face"...

overall i am still so happy that i went ahead with the surgery :) even though it was a rough recovery the first month... i survived the worst of it and can now just move past all of this. i feel pretty good about my face even though i think i look different sometimes... but i guess everyone goes through that with this surgery. our face is just so integral to who we are... just scary to change it and still try to see yourself. but hey, having all of my teeth touch is SOOO worth it :)

my lips don't touch naturally still... but they are SOOOO close. so i can live with that. 

anyway, sorry for the loads and loads of pictures.... i just didn't really want to sort through a ton and figure out which were best to post, so i just put them all in! I hope all is well with you guys going through something similar... :) now to start another insanely busy week....

-Katie:)

Day 69 - Subtle Changes (before/after)

So, I hope you guys are alright! 

my biggest complaints by now are the sensitivity, numbness, and clicking of my jaw joint.

you know the sensitivity that you feel if you bite into a popsicle? or just when anything too cold touches your teeth? well, that is what it feels like when i brush my teeth with my sonicare toothbrush OR chew hard things. which is extremely annoying. I'm not sure if it is because the numbness on my upper gums may be returning? or? have any of you guys had a lot of sensitivity post-op?

when i chew soft things it is fine, but say i try to chew a cracker, it just sparks uncomfortable sensations in my upper gums and teeth, and some on the lower too. not to mention it feels like it is too much on my jaw, so i am sticking to softer foods. peanut butter and jelly is my "go-to" lunch! but i am probably being too adventurous too fast with food. definitely have chewed hard crackers, pickles, and hard meats. it is challenging and makes my jaw ache... but the food is SO yummy. ill never take food for granted again after this surgery... that is for sure. i also wanted to briefly mention the annoying clicking/popping of my left jaw joint again.. it hasn't gone away :( sometimes it isn't there, but other times it is... and i am just worried itll be there forever :(

overall though everything is great, swelling is mostly gone (on some days i notice that it gets a little worse again, but oh well). today i had some pain in my face, but some days i have none. it is all just up and down by this point in recovery.

hope all is well with you guys :) 

-Katie:)

Day 61 - TWO MONTHS

June 10th-August 10th

a lot can happen in 2 months. that much i have learned.

today my grandparents came over to celebrate my birthday, we grilled hamburgers and hotdogs and brats. and GUESS WHAT. i had my first hamburger :) what a great way to celebrate 2 months (and my birthday!) i also was able to eat my cookie cake which is just about the best thing ever :)

so while i was able to "eat" a hamburger, i wasn't able to in a traditional way. chewing is such a weird sensation... i have realized that there is a huge difference in being able to "bite" things vs "chew" things.

I went about eating my hamburger just by cutting it up into bite sized pieces and then chewing those slowly, which worked. there is no way that i would have been able to bite into my hamburger, my jaw isn't strong enough yet. luckily i don't have pain though :) i was really worried that it would hurt to chew... but luckily it doesn't!

 -Katie:)

Day 59 - well... at least i can chew again!!

YAY. I can chew. long story short.. ahha. but ill back up to my appt.

my surgeon checked to make sure my plates and jaw position wasn't unstable or moving. and said it was all stable and healed super well, so yay for that :) makes me feel better about putting pressure on my jaws by chewing. he then tested me opening and closing my mouth and didn't notice any clicking in my jaw.. so said i should resume eating. he said the clicking isn't anything major as long as it isn't hindering how far i can open my mouth... and with that... he said i need to keep at opening my jaw wider, i am now at 27 mm and need to be at least 35 mm wide. so i am continuing with my exercises with my tongue depressors! haha... he said by my next appt in 2 weeks i need to be at 30 mm. so i better get at it.. i want to be able to open wider too. especially with singing..! show choir started up this week! and im so happy for that, absolutely love show choir... singing and dancing on stage is just too much fun. and we get to sing parts of Phantom.. who doesnt love that theme?! woo :)

hmm... other things, i got back to school on tuesday. so i am going to stop doing daily posts starting monday (at 9 weeks post op). because ill be too busy to post... and also I've started to have less and less to say... which must be a good thing!! :) but trust me, ill still keep this updated, itll be weird not to write in this before i go to bed every night....

also, my birthday is a week from today! so yay for that.

in chewing news... i tried chewing on my way home from the appt (grabbed a cookie from the downstairs cafe at the hospital which was delicious btw) and the clicking was minimal, so hopefully that goes away eventually :( super annoying....

as far as pain goes at this point, some days i feel absolutely no pain. just some discomfort still, but other days, like today, i have some areas that ache. yesterday the left side of my lower jaw ached while today the right side does. it isn't bad enough for me to feel like i need medicine (trying to stay away from all of that, even motrin and tylenol). if it ever gets bad enough ill take medicine, but luckily i can easily manage without it!

until tomorrow,
-Katie:)

Day 57 - :( One step forward, two steps back (not allowed to chew again)

So... I mentioned in my last post how the left side of my jaw was clicking when i ate... so we called my surgeon's office to let them know. They just called back... and said that they don't want me chewing anymore and that my surgeon wants to see me in a couple days. sigh. just when things were getting better.... I don't think i have anything else to say... :(

at least i could barely notice any swelling today. that is a first for me.

as always, take care.

-Katie:)

Day 56 - 8 WEEKS!! - i can chew! (well.. kinda)

THE DAY HAS ARRIVED GUYS. as you can tell im pretty happy. best day ever. :)

i can chew. whoopee :)

my day started off with an early 7:30 am appt with my orthodontist. okay, i know i posted a little bit ago about the whole ordeal with rubber bands on the front of my mouth and the communication issues between my surgeon and ortho and their offices... blah. so today i finally got scheduled with my orthodontist. first they pulled out my lower wire. ouch! only to put the same one back in.... :\ did they really have to torture me that extra amount for no reason? they then switched my top wire, and i still have boxes with rubber bands... on the sides... just smaller boxes. i realized they weren't putting bands on the front... which is what my surgeon wanted... so i asked my ortho about this... cause i was concerned and confused. he told me that my front 2 teeth slightly were overlapping one another and so the band on the front would only worsen that. which i guess makes sense.. hopefully my surgeon is okay with this? anyway... so i go back to see my ortho in 4 weeks. all of the nurses/assistants there were all over me again asking how i was, even ones that i barely recognized! so weird (in a good way) and cool that they all know about me and such :) it was very nice of them.

after my early morning appt... (i have been suffering all day from not getting a ton of sleep last night :P better get on a better schedule again, oops!) i walked into my kitchen contemplating whether i wanted an egg or smoothie when suddenly it hit me. i could try something new. i immediately went for the cinnamon-sugar toast. well... i just microwaved it so it would be soft, so actually it would be bread not toast :P and then just put a ton of butter on it. and had my first attempt at chewing! after EIGHT WEEKS of nothing. wow. the first thing i would call it is.. weird. really weird. it feels like hmm.... like i am chewing a piece of rubber. because i feel like my jaw isnt strong enough to bite down completely on everything. just kinda squishes the food down enough to swallow. and it kinda gives me a headache. and my left jaw started clicking/popping which has me super worried..... i hope this goes away :( so i need to start practicing and reteaching myself how to chew! was i expecting it to be hard to chew? yes. was i successful at chewing? only a tiny bit. was it still amazing? YES:)

so, one of my friends texted me since she knew today was the big day. she came and picked me up and we adventured through target. i decided that what i wanted the most today, was potato chips. i figured they would dissolve easy enough to make them manageable to chew. so we picked up 2 bags and just sat and watched a movie and netflix together all afternoon. it was pretty great. :) i basically ate potato chips for both lunch and dinner and am not even ashamed to admit it! ill go back to eating "healthy" stuff tomorrow... today was a special day.

In regards to the whole chewing thing, itll take a while to get anywhere near normal. Today, i started to get sores underneath my top lip and cheeks from rubbing against my braces... whether this is from talking a lot, or the ortho adjustment this morning, or chewing, i have no clue. but it makes it hurt to talk! so hopefuly those heal up quickly. i may be wearing wax tomorrow.

also... i wanted to complain quickly about the numbness still around my incision areas or areas in the back of my mouth still being numb, because now that i can chew, i got food stuck in all sorts of places in my mouth and didnt notice for a while! so annoying... don't know the best way to clean that out besides just brushing my teeth (since im not allowed to use my water pick yet). so ill just be brushing my teeth a lot for a while...

so! since this is a big "8 week" post... ill write more about how i am feeling/doing overall

sleep - i can now sleep on my face without pain, so yay for sleeping curled up in a ball:)

energy - normal! i havent exercised yet mostly because it feels weird on my face to run and/or jump... the pain is slowly going down. but i feel like it would be kinda painful for me. i could tough it out if necessary though!

numbness
so this is getting harder and harder to explain. ill start off by saying that i can "feel" everywhere i touch except for my gums on my top teeth. which is pretty great. now.. i have a TON of partial numbness though. the inside of my mouth has the most numbness. areas around the incisions are pretty numb. hmm, so are the insides of my cheeks. my left cheek is way more numb than my right though which is weird. the areas on either side of nose are the most numb on the outside of my face. but idk, it is really hard to tell what is numb and what isnt and what is tingly, idk! just all runs together. ill include in this part this my face is still stiff. smiling is still a tad awkward. and yeah

random stuff now... so... im still working on getting to open my mouth wider, im slowly making progress! im at about 28 mm, and gotta get to 35 mm. hopefully i can! cause it makes singing easier when i can actually open my mouth.

my nose still is annoying... pretty sure i have a deviated septum now :\ so i can almost never breathe out of the left side of my nose... but idk. we'll see what happens in the future...

i am still not taking any medicine for pain, even though sometimes i have it, it isn't bad enough to take medicine normally. yay for that :) i have a lot of headaches though... and just random aches. but oh well. gets better by the day still.

swelling is pretty much gone. some people say they notice it, some don't. not sure what to believe, i feel kinda puffy, but i think this is mostly just from the remaining numbness and stiffness.

anyway, i think i got enough into this post... overall things are great :) hope all is great with anyone still reading this. a big thanks if you are :) this blog has been amazing. much love.

-Katie:)

Day 55 - Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow!

So today i have been humming (and singing of course!) Tomorrow from Annie. because, tomorrow, I GET TO CHEW. hence, i completely love tomorrow. and am excited. if you can't tell.
yay
yay
yay
yay:)

I am a tiny bit terrified that either A) I wont be able to chew anything... or B) it'll hurt a ton...

but hey, gotta try! i am just so ready to chew. and i know it maybe isn't the biggest deal ever to most people... BUT this is what i have been looking forward to for ages. so fingers crossed that my diet goes back to normal quickly!

Since tomorrow is also 8 weeks ill write up some huge long post about everything i can possibly think of :P so ill quit going on about nothing tonight! hope all is well with you guys :)

-Katie:)