Day 9 - not much. sigh.

Well, sleeping last night wasn't super fun. I don't like falling asleep only to wake up in a puddle of drool and more discomfort. It just felt like a long series of "on and off" naps. I eventually just gave up this morning and watched tv. maybe i can nap soon. i was having a decent day until about an hour ago. hmm let's see. i started my morning off with some more pancakes mushed up in a cup in syrup. my pain medication makes me feel so out of it... but i guess it beats the pain :( my numbness is starting to bother me. my top lip has weird poking feelings and then it gets REALLY cold when i try to drink anything. my teeth feel sensitive too. so annoying and weird... i kinda have the constant pulsing throb of pain behind my eyes and nose that i don't know what to do with, but at least my medicine helps. i went out into my backyard and walked around a tiny bit earlier today. made me miss golfing! :( and just being normal. i miss my friends. :( i miss normal. then hmm, today i have also eaten chicken noodle soup, baked beans, and some more random smoothies my mom makes. my nausea is back. my main issue is that i still havent had a bowel movement since surgery..... i have had a bad history with constipation and am on lots of medicine trying to help things move through me. so my stomach has been suffering :( definitely doesnt help with the whole eating ordeal. sorry, i know that topic isn't great. but i just had to share. my sister painted my nails today which was nice of her. im scared i am snapping at my family :( i don't mean to be short with people, it just isn't fun to talk and im so uncomfortable. i was extremely happy that today though i was able to get my library books! now i just need to feel well enough to read. i had my mom go in to check out the stack i had on hold because i didn't feel like being seen in public... is that bad? i just decided sitting in the car was the best way to avoid stares. im too puffy. i also decided that i don't like the car. it makes me dizzy and gives me a headache. for some reason my eyes get really sensitive and it just makes my head throb. tomorrow i have an appt with my surgeon, just gotta survive the one hour car trip yet again! ew. id rather avoid cars for awhile... ill update on what he says at the appt tomorrow evening. also! i think a couple of my friends are going to come visit me tomorrow which may help! today i have come to the conclusion that i feel lonely and secluded. sigh. this recovery isn't easy. i applaud anyone who has made it through. really hard to keep my head up through it all... it is getting harder to stay positive. but i will prevail. i refuse to have too many bad days! i was just able to eat spaghetti for dinner!! i mean i just took a knife and fork and sliced up the noodles as small as possible and kinda just swallowed them whole. but it was still yummy.

note to self: avoid yawning. i just experienced a yawn for the first time. ow!

behold the puff!

the extent to which i am able to open my mouth

lip bruising and neck bruising

thanks to anyone still following along. makes me feel like i'm not going through this alone. much love
-Katie:)